Small Parenting Victories

 I am not a Supermom. I won’t claim to even be a great mom. I hope, in the end, I’ll at least be considered a good mom - most of the time.  I’ve had my failures.  But I do thing I have a positive relationship with my teen and young adult children.  They are all pretty amazing in their own ways - even as some of them struggle to adjust to adult life.




One of my less-than-shining points as a parent came in the wake of Covid.  Prior to the pandemic we had limits on the amount of screen time the kids had. (Sure, they were sneaky and got a little more when they weren't supposed to - I know more than they think I know!) However, as the pandemic and virtual learning drew out, It became harder and harder to control the screen exposure. Then they were getting older and requesting more autonomy. My own mental health was shaky and I eventually threw up my hands.  There were a few times we tried things to reel it in again, but it rarely lasted. Now only two of our kids still live with us and our daughter only has a few more months before she moves on to new ventures, and our son has just over 2 years of high school
left. 


My husband has also been struggling with feeling isolated and disconnected from the kids as they usually have headphones on when he gets home and he doesn't want to yell to get their attention. So a few weeks ago it was his idea to mandate a no screen policy in the evenings.  



What we do is this: 

At 6pm I have an alarm go off to signify screen free time is to start.  I admit, this often doesn’t start right away.  A couple nights ago I gave them an extra 30 minutes because I had sent to the store for a few items.  Also, if they are particularly stressed about a school assignment, we’ll negotiate that evening or I’ll sit and help them get it done.  Some nights I will allow them to listen to music or an audio book; just


have the screen where they can’t watch it.  Other nights they choose a game to play as a family; Timeline, Nertz, or Telestrations are the favorites right now. Some nights we make an exception and my husband and I turn the TV on to watch a couple episodes of Forged in Fire or NCIS and they can choose to watch with us.  At bedtime, devices are carried to my room and sit by the door till morning to reduce any temptation for late night sneaking.  


It’s not perfect, but I have seen benefits. For one, mornings go just a little smoother. I’m not much of a morning person, and I don’t expect others to be, but I have noticed they get up just a little easier and there just a few less complaints.  I don’t know if they actually are having less anxiety about school or life, but they appear to be handling stress and anxiety just a little better.  In general, attitudes are a little better; this could also be attributed to the weather warming up and a bit more sunshine (we currently live where winter is long and cold)- I’ll take it either way.

One of the best differences though, is my son and husband conversing more.  They actually have several of the same interests, but my son has a tendency to grunt/mumble responses. However when the screen is taken away, he will start sharing ideas and thoughts and then my husband chimes in and they both have a lot to say.


This isn’t something drastic.  This isn’t perfect. There is a lot of flexibility in it. It is something we will keep doing.


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